3-25-13

So yesterday I gave a letter to my parents informing them of my attraction to women and that I was dating Nicki. Today I spent a lot of time texting and talking with them about talking about it. Dad thinks he knows why and is trying to find reasons to blame himself. That’s kinda irritating-this is my deal, not necessarily his.

I feel like I’m having post-partum depression. I kept this secret inside and nurtured it for so long. Now that it’s in the open (for my parents at least), I feel empty, almost. Like I have to find a new identity as an “out” lesbian. But I don’t want to be known as “the Lesbian” or anything like that. I just happen to be desperately in love with Nicki.

After 17 months together and spending two days constantly in each other’s presence, we still text desperately when we’re apart :-P I love that.

3-24-13

Well, I gave that letter to my parents today. Turns out they already knew…it’s hard to process. 

3-22-13

I’m writing a letter to my parents. It’s really hard to write, because I don’t think they’ll want to read it and it’s about me. I went to a psychologist earlier this week and learned that I don’t have the language to talk about me, so putting me in this letter is really hard.

I also just found out that my secret blog got deleted…ugh. Pretty sure I just lost a lot of heartfelt writing. Shoulda backed it up…didn’t want to get caught, I guess.